You don't know

Race:  Nurgle
Coach:  Carbrawn

You don't know team badge
Bulletin board from the coach
May 9th, 2018
Running the Rodents
The smell clearly kept the crowds away with the odour of rotting meat and rodents soaked by rain resulting in only 18,000 fans at the game.
You Donít Know won the toss and elected to receive so they didnít risk a T16 TD from the ridiculous speed of the Skaven. A Touchback from the kick gave them a boost so they didnít have to try and pick up the ball in the rain (or so they thought) and while everyone was watching the ref hand possession to Oltrayds the LOS exploded with action with Sprat Badly Hurting the linerat Zhashqel Wildchaser and the Beast Thariper KOíing his teammate Zhokninq Farrowchaser and marking up the Gutter Runner Znotch Cragmaul with tentacles. A quick cage formation up near the LOS and it looked like Nurgle was going to be happy.
The Rat Ogre Big Rat was nervous about being too rough and played with Kid Gloves but the rest of the Skaven werenít worried. They knew about the Mine that happened to be right under the feet of the ball carrier. Luckily Oltrayds kept his feet but one side of the cage was down and shortly afterwards a Blitz with Wrestle saw the ball in the grass and open. Skonq Deepbender bolted around the LOS and made 2 GFIs to grab the ball and run clear and into easy TD range. Znotch failed to escape the Tentacles.
Skonq was himself Blitzed to the ground by Enaboks but an unlucky bounce had the ball on the sideline and it took 2 GFIs for Oltrayds to get there and pick it up, leaving him in a precarious position having to rely on the Gutter Runners low strength to save him from being pushed off.
Znotch failed to escape the Tentacles. Skonq stood up and made the risky -2D block and double push saw Oltrayds surfed and injured by the crowd (he regenerated) and they threw the ball straight across field to the open where Cretch Crowcrest gathered it up after circling the LOS.
The ball hit the ground several times more with the Skaven losing players to KO each turn until they were down to 6 and Znotch seemed eternally trapped in tentacles. You Donít Know were running out of time and desperate so after Rotter Really Poorly caught the ball on a bounce he ran upfield and GFIíd to make a pass to the rookie Pestigor Lantan who caught it despite the rain and was close enough to score in the remaining 2 turns.
That was when Blackmail raised its ugly head and the Clawed Warrior Horner left his post marking the Skaven Thrower and blitzed Lantan, putting both of the to the ground.
Really Poorly ran downfield to give a second scorer option and Lantan stood up, picked up the ball again and moved into GFI range for a T8 TD.
Thrikch Pinegaze bolted in for a Blitz putting Lantan down once more and tried to gather the ball but failed in the wet. There was still a chance for glory, a Blitz by Enaboks resulted in a double push which didnít even get Thrikch away from the ball and Lantan was the playmaker, he moved to pick up the ball in a TZ in the rain, dodged out again and made a GFI , he only needed one more to hand off and let Really Poorly walk in for the TD but slipped in the mud.
Big Rat could see only one way his team could score but he needed to free Znotch from the Beast of Nurgle tentacles where he had been for 6 turns. He roared and charged but the Both Down resulted in the Rat Ogre Badly Hurt which the team apothecary quickly rushed in to fix.

The Skitterers recovered only 2 from 5 Kos and with an injured linerat they had only 7 to set up. It didnít seem to affect them, with players positioned out of Disturbing Presence range the gathered the ball, made a pass and ran Znotch down the widezone to stand on the sideline with Skonq and Zhokninq Farrowchaser staged between him and the rest of the field. Big Rat then blitzed down the widezone to remove a Pestigor threat and add some more protection but once again hit the turf and he was stunned.
The Rattsburgh coach was surprised when the Warrior Nimble blitzed Zhokning onto the sideline next to the ball carrier, Skonq was fenced in to force multiple dodges and then Thariper ran from the LOS, doing to GFIs to pin Znotch to the sideline, putting all 3 skaven in Tentacles. It looked like the rats were going to have 3 players surfed despite Side Step and the Skaven would have 4 v 11. Then the secret playbook came out and Znotch performed the Kingmaker Play! With improbably ease the Gutter Runner made success after success for 2 Tentacle Escapes, both with Dodges into TZs, made another TZ dodge, another dodge out, went out of his way to make a -2D Blitz to put down Enaboks in the hope of an injury and then GFIíd to cross the line for the TD. Bookies calculated the likelihood of that play at 10000 to 1.

The remainder of the half was a circus with You Donít Knowís cage forming and reforming, pivoting its corners with new players on the outskirts and slowly moving downfield. The ball movement left Big Rat behind and when he stunned himself blitzing Harkness the Rotter took offence, pulled a Hidden Blade from his boot and fouled the big guy, KOing him but was spotted by the Ref and sent off. With their Thrower taken down by O'Neill and out for the next game and a few more KOís the Skaven were at a severe numbers disadvantage but it didnít stop them. After Thariper made a critical failure and became Really Stupid Thrikch dodged and GFIíd to make a 1D blitz to put the ball carrying Oltrayds down very late in the game. There was only just enough time for Oltrayds to stand and move over the line on T16 for the equalizer.

Final Result TD 1-1 Cas 3-2
Blackmail, Mine and Kingmaker Play really saved the Skaven. With their lack of numbers, Blackmail stopped what was headed to be fairly safe TD and Kingmaker Play recovered from an apparently devastating turn.
- Carbrawn
Nov. 25th, 2017 - old news
Pre Semi Final
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final siren
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll foul you hard, and youíll be cryin

I've played a season that's full
I've even out-scored the Wood Fey
But more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Failed Go-For-Its, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And crushed the Elves without exception

I planned each charted drive
Each careful step along the ball play
And more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I Blocked Off more than I POWíed you
But through it all, when there was doubt
I chewed you up and spat you out
I took the push and I stood tall
And did it Nurgles way

I've won more than Iíve tied
I've had my fill of never losing losing
And now, as the season subsides
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say - not in a nice way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it Nurgles way

For what is a coach, what has he got
If not a trophy, then he has naught
But to hurt you when he truly means
To hear your players eternal screams
My record shocks but I made the Blocks
And did it Nurgles way

Yes, it was Nurgles way
- Carbrawn
Oct. 31st, 2017 - old news
How did we get here?
You Donít Know went into the match with no expectations of victory as they have for every other game. By some unlikely twist of fate they have now managed to get through to the finals without a loss, one will no doubt come eventually and the result will not bother the Great Unclean One in the slightest.
The Shady Grays had a clear advantage in the crowd and hired a Wizard and a Babe for the game. After also winning the toss, they elected to receive and immediately unveiled Knuckle Dusters which Ere' Breaker used to Blitz Thariper to the ground while on the LOS Kal Maxtron smashed Alphonse Norman to the turf Badly Hurting him as well as giving him a Fractured Skull. Realising that one of the Rotters on the LOS was fully conscious, Alex Pepperange ran across and with the assist of 6 of his closest teammates, booted Harkness in the head, stunning him. From his position on the ground, Thariper thought he saw the ref looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves for the rest of the match but while he was considering this he did nothing else for the Nurgle teams turn while his team mates scrambled around trying to work out a defence with one player off and 3 more inactive. Over the next few turns the game swung back with Thariper finally getting a clue and Blitzing Steve LaCroix into the casualty bin Badly Hurt and the only Human Catcher Daniel Fryse failing a dodge and KOing himself. This final failure left the Grays out of position and allowed a break away force to take down Andrew Vevusus who was carrying the ball and another lineman was KOíd to give the Nurgle team a numbers advantage and possession momentarily until Enaboks failed to catch the ball for the walk-in TD. The Blitzer James Darnum bolted across field, knocking Enaboks out of the way and the Grays had two TZs on the grounded ball. James was celebrated by his team until he showed the real reason he was there, his ineffectual Blitz again Enabocks left him perfectly positioned to follow his Blackmail instructions, pushing the lineman Alphonse Norman away and letting Oltrayds pick up the ball and hand it to Enabocks who did a GFI for the score.

The second half started with You Donít Know grabbing the kick and moving into a protected spread cage behind the LOS. The spread didnít last with strategic blocks and blitzes getting 5 players into position for the Fireball that launched from the dugout. Only one Warrior on the corner was affected and his armour wasnít beaten. Unfortunately, the Beast was distracted by the explosion and lost track of the game, leaving the newly formed cage very weak which led to Kal Maxtron blitzing Enaboks in the side of the cage and Badly Hurting him (which he failed to regenerate). The drooling Thariper was then hit by a mass of Human players, putting him on the ground. Chaos reigned for several turns with the full complement of both team in a mob spreading from one widezone to the centre of the field and possession changed more than once until Rotters started leaving the field and Shady Grays had the numbers to make a move. First the Blitzer James Darnum was freed to move into scoring range, then the Catcher Daniel made a successful dodge into a TZ and out again and moved down to give them two options for the TD and the Lineman Xavier Anderson grabbed the ball behind his team mates and out of reach of all except the most risky of Blitzes. Oltrayds used his AG4 to dodge over and GFI to mark the ball carrier and Thariper GFIíd to put tentacles on the two receivers while a Warrior got close enough for Disturbing Presence to impact the Blitzer and the unskilled Rotter Al-ready Gone put the extra TZ on the Catcher. It came down to the Grays, some positioning and a Blitz gave them a chain push to get the Catcher out of Tentacles (but still in a TZ and Disturbing Presence) and 12 ran down to do the handoff but tripped on the GFI to see the game end.

Final Result TD 1-0 Cas 2-2
With a win against a Human team finally under their belt after two Draws, You Donít Know now move into SF position as the only team still undefeated. With they play the Chaos team Black Legion or replay the Humans Drakwald Dragons?
Shady Grays now go into an elimination match against the Wood Elf team Tree Hugging Hippies.
- Carbrawn
Sep. 11th, 2017 - old news
Models of bad behaviour
A veritable plague of Nurgle supporters turned up to the game, so many that the humans avoided the stadium in fear of catching something dreadful, giving You Donít Know +2 FAME.† The crowd made the Nurgle team strut around and resulted in some Bad Habits and Oltrayds really wanted to prove his worth, stating no one was going to get him off the field as he was an Iron Man.

You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive.† They did poorly with the LOS hits which allowed a rapid response with the Blitzer Ewart KOíing the Warrior Sprat on their first turn.† Seeing his teammate dragged off the field enraged Thariper who blitzed Ewart seriously injuring him and putting him out for the next match.† Then the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax pushed another Warrior Piper off the sideline with a few assists and the rest of the half devolved into shoving and shouting with very little movement upfield until in desperation Enaboks blitzed his way free to stand in the EZ and Oltrayds was blocked free and ran down to pass for the TD which Enaboks failed to catch.

The fans were disappointed in the first half and threw a Rock, KOíing Georgio at the kick and giving You Donít Know the numbers advantage for the first time.† It didnít stop Model Humans making a hole with the Ogre Horrible Harry blitzing the rotter Grimthor to the ground and letting the Catcher E.N. Trapment run through with Menion providing some defence and the lineman Grimthor marking up the Beast of Nurgle.† Grimthor regretted his bravery when Thariper Blitzed and gained his second (and skill making) casualty Badly Hurting Grimthor and marking up the feeble Catcher while Nimble knocked Horrible Harry to the ground and the other two Warriors spread their Disturbing Presence aura around to distract other receivers.† The skilled Thrower Harvey Chucks was not bothered, running forward to remain just out of the effect of three different Disturbing Presence zones and passed to the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax who failed the 5+ catch with a reroll.† Thariper hit the weak E.N. Trapment but only managed to push him towards the sideline and Oltrayds made his first fumbling attempt to get the ball in hopes of the team actually managing a TD. Horrible Harry got to his feet and blitzed Black but hit the turf himself, freeing Black to move down and remind Thariper what he was there for, letting him push E.N. Trapment off the sideline.† Back in the middle of the field, Oltrayds grabbed the ball but fumbled the pass to Enaboks who had been waiting out in the open. Horrible Harry stood up again and this time blitzed Thariper for a both down with the Beast of Nurgle KOíd.† Oltrayds picked up the ball again and tried to pass to Enaboks who was in walking distance of the line but fumbled the throw again.† With most of his team mates prone in a mob in centre field surrounded by Nurgle players, Jarad Jax tried to run around the LOS and get to the ball but failed his dodge (despite the dodge skill) and was stunned.† Oltrayds picked up the ball and walked over to Enaboks who was unable to take the handoff and for the 4th time the ball hit the ground again.† With no one now able to get to the ball or the two Pestigors Horrible Harry once again blitzed and this time he was successful with a casualty on the only skilled Rotter on the field Black who suffered a Broken Neck and a Badly Hurt, giving the Ogre his first skill.† Oltrayds was no close enough to the EZ to score himself so he ignored Enaboks, walked over to the ball and failed the 2+ pickup.

Final Result TD 0-0 Cas 2-1

The last turn of the first half and the last FOUR turns of the second half were turnovers with a roll of 1 on ball handling, all of which could have resulted in a TD that turn.† The only SPP earned outside MVPs was by the two Big Guys who both earned skills from casualties.
- Carbrawn
Tournaments played:
Playing in:
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Trophies won:

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