You don't know

Race:  Nurgle
Coach:  Carbrawn

You don't know team badge
Bulletin board from the coach
Nov. 25th, 2017 - old news
Pre Semi Final
And now, the end is near
And so I face the final siren
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll foul you hard, and youíll be cryin

I've played a season that's full
I've even out-scored the Wood Fey
But more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Failed Go-For-Its, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And crushed the Elves without exception

I planned each charted drive
Each careful step along the ball play
And more, much more than this
I did it Nurgles Way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I Blocked Off more than I POWíed you
But through it all, when there was doubt
I chewed you up and spat you out
I took the push and I stood tall
And did it Nurgles way

I've won more than Iíve tied
I've had my fill of never losing losing
And now, as the season subsides
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say - not in a nice way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it Nurgles way

For what is a coach, what has he got
If not a trophy, then he has naught
But to hurt you when he truly means
To hear your players eternal screams
My record shocks but I made the Blocks
And did it Nurgles way

Yes, it was Nurgles way
- Carbrawn
Oct. 31st, 2017 - old news
How did we get here?
You Donít Know went into the match with no expectations of victory as they have for every other game. By some unlikely twist of fate they have now managed to get through to the finals without a loss, one will no doubt come eventually and the result will not bother the Great Unclean One in the slightest.
The Shady Grays had a clear advantage in the crowd and hired a Wizard and a Babe for the game. After also winning the toss, they elected to receive and immediately unveiled Knuckle Dusters which Ere' Breaker used to Blitz Thariper to the ground while on the LOS Kal Maxtron smashed Alphonse Norman to the turf Badly Hurting him as well as giving him a Fractured Skull. Realising that one of the Rotters on the LOS was fully conscious, Alex Pepperange ran across and with the assist of 6 of his closest teammates, booted Harkness in the head, stunning him. From his position on the ground, Thariper thought he saw the ref looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves for the rest of the match but while he was considering this he did nothing else for the Nurgle teams turn while his team mates scrambled around trying to work out a defence with one player off and 3 more inactive. Over the next few turns the game swung back with Thariper finally getting a clue and Blitzing Steve LaCroix into the casualty bin Badly Hurt and the only Human Catcher Daniel Fryse failing a dodge and KOing himself. This final failure left the Grays out of position and allowed a break away force to take down Andrew Vevusus who was carrying the ball and another lineman was KOíd to give the Nurgle team a numbers advantage and possession momentarily until Enaboks failed to catch the ball for the walk-in TD. The Blitzer James Darnum bolted across field, knocking Enaboks out of the way and the Grays had two TZs on the grounded ball. James was celebrated by his team until he showed the real reason he was there, his ineffectual Blitz again Enabocks left him perfectly positioned to follow his Blackmail instructions, pushing the lineman Alphonse Norman away and letting Oltrayds pick up the ball and hand it to Enabocks who did a GFI for the score.

The second half started with You Donít Know grabbing the kick and moving into a protected spread cage behind the LOS. The spread didnít last with strategic blocks and blitzes getting 5 players into position for the Fireball that launched from the dugout. Only one Warrior on the corner was affected and his armour wasnít beaten. Unfortunately, the Beast was distracted by the explosion and lost track of the game, leaving the newly formed cage very weak which led to Kal Maxtron blitzing Enaboks in the side of the cage and Badly Hurting him (which he failed to regenerate). The drooling Thariper was then hit by a mass of Human players, putting him on the ground. Chaos reigned for several turns with the full complement of both team in a mob spreading from one widezone to the centre of the field and possession changed more than once until Rotters started leaving the field and Shady Grays had the numbers to make a move. First the Blitzer James Darnum was freed to move into scoring range, then the Catcher Daniel made a successful dodge into a TZ and out again and moved down to give them two options for the TD and the Lineman Xavier Anderson grabbed the ball behind his team mates and out of reach of all except the most risky of Blitzes. Oltrayds used his AG4 to dodge over and GFI to mark the ball carrier and Thariper GFIíd to put tentacles on the two receivers while a Warrior got close enough for Disturbing Presence to impact the Blitzer and the unskilled Rotter Al-ready Gone put the extra TZ on the Catcher. It came down to the Grays, some positioning and a Blitz gave them a chain push to get the Catcher out of Tentacles (but still in a TZ and Disturbing Presence) and 12 ran down to do the handoff but tripped on the GFI to see the game end.

Final Result TD 1-0 Cas 2-2
With a win against a Human team finally under their belt after two Draws, You Donít Know now move into SF position as the only team still undefeated. With they play the Chaos team Black Legion or replay the Humans Drakwald Dragons?
Shady Grays now go into an elimination match against the Wood Elf team Tree Hugging Hippies.
- Carbrawn
Sep. 11th, 2017 - old news
Models of bad behaviour
A veritable plague of Nurgle supporters turned up to the game, so many that the humans avoided the stadium in fear of catching something dreadful, giving You Donít Know +2 FAME.† The crowd made the Nurgle team strut around and resulted in some Bad Habits and Oltrayds really wanted to prove his worth, stating no one was going to get him off the field as he was an Iron Man.

You Donít Know won the toss and chose to receive.† They did poorly with the LOS hits which allowed a rapid response with the Blitzer Ewart KOíing the Warrior Sprat on their first turn.† Seeing his teammate dragged off the field enraged Thariper who blitzed Ewart seriously injuring him and putting him out for the next match.† Then the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax pushed another Warrior Piper off the sideline with a few assists and the rest of the half devolved into shoving and shouting with very little movement upfield until in desperation Enaboks blitzed his way free to stand in the EZ and Oltrayds was blocked free and ran down to pass for the TD which Enaboks failed to catch.

The fans were disappointed in the first half and threw a Rock, KOíing Georgio at the kick and giving You Donít Know the numbers advantage for the first time.† It didnít stop Model Humans making a hole with the Ogre Horrible Harry blitzing the rotter Grimthor to the ground and letting the Catcher E.N. Trapment run through with Menion providing some defence and the lineman Grimthor marking up the Beast of Nurgle.† Grimthor regretted his bravery when Thariper Blitzed and gained his second (and skill making) casualty Badly Hurting Grimthor and marking up the feeble Catcher while Nimble knocked Horrible Harry to the ground and the other two Warriors spread their Disturbing Presence aura around to distract other receivers.† The skilled Thrower Harvey Chucks was not bothered, running forward to remain just out of the effect of three different Disturbing Presence zones and passed to the Blodge Blitzer Jarad Jax who failed the 5+ catch with a reroll.† Thariper hit the weak E.N. Trapment but only managed to push him towards the sideline and Oltrayds made his first fumbling attempt to get the ball in hopes of the team actually managing a TD. Horrible Harry got to his feet and blitzed Black but hit the turf himself, freeing Black to move down and remind Thariper what he was there for, letting him push E.N. Trapment off the sideline.† Back in the middle of the field, Oltrayds grabbed the ball but fumbled the pass to Enaboks who had been waiting out in the open. Horrible Harry stood up again and this time blitzed Thariper for a both down with the Beast of Nurgle KOíd.† Oltrayds picked up the ball again and tried to pass to Enaboks who was in walking distance of the line but fumbled the throw again.† With most of his team mates prone in a mob in centre field surrounded by Nurgle players, Jarad Jax tried to run around the LOS and get to the ball but failed his dodge (despite the dodge skill) and was stunned.† Oltrayds picked up the ball and walked over to Enaboks who was unable to take the handoff and for the 4th time the ball hit the ground again.† With no one now able to get to the ball or the two Pestigors Horrible Harry once again blitzed and this time he was successful with a casualty on the only skilled Rotter on the field Black who suffered a Broken Neck and a Badly Hurt, giving the Ogre his first skill.† Oltrayds was no close enough to the EZ to score himself so he ignored Enaboks, walked over to the ball and failed the 2+ pickup.

Final Result TD 0-0 Cas 2-1

The last turn of the first half and the last FOUR turns of the second half were turnovers with a roll of 1 on ball handling, all of which could have resulted in a TD that turn.† The only SPP earned outside MVPs was by the two Big Guys who both earned skills from casualties.
- Carbrawn
Aug. 5th, 2017 - old news
Against the odds
Mummies Boys arrived with a wizard in a cage to help them with the game.
At the start of the match Hoar us thought the ref was looking at him funny and played with Kid Gloves, refusing to help his team mates. It didnít stop him hurting his opponents himself though and his glovers were spattered at the end with him putting two Rotters in the casualty bin.

Mummies Boys won the toss and elected to kick, lining the front of the field with muscle to try and stop the Nurgle team getting past. It helped delay things as despite Oltrayds catching the kick, You Donít Know suffered a turnover without moving the ball when Thariper hit Tooting Car Man and they both fell to the ground, Thariper undamaged but Tooting Car Man suffering a Niggling Injury which he luckily regenerated. The next turn Really Poorly got through the Thick Skull of Rah Spew Tin to give his team a 2 player advantage and the ball was moved up to near the LOS. Then the Mummies Boys decided to make things difficult. The Wizard was brought out, Oltrayds hit the turf along with his one of his protectors Nimble and the ball was next to Thariper and Really Poorly. Realising that Blackmail wasnít likely to work on someone with the memory of a goldfish, someone slipped tinted lenses over the eyes of Thariper who got confused over who was on his team, and dodged away from Really Poorly to foul Oltrayds. With Really Poorly alone next to the ball he was blitzed to the ground and Ritzblah ran in to try and get possession. The ball bounced around from player to player over the next few minutes with numerous failures to catch it until it finally landed back in the Nurgle half. Thariper hit Bob Loblaw out of the way, Seriously Injuring him and he failed to recover, Oltrayds got to his feet and grabbed the ball with a GFI to move back into the protection of a cage and provide an assist for O'Neill to hit Thofoth Fothof next to the sideline. Seeing the luck Thariper had, Tooting Car Man thumped Really Poorly into the casualty bin as well, (his Decay ending in two BH results) and then he moved to assist Hoar us knocking Thariper to the ground where he stayed for a while, unable to collect his thoughts enough to stand up. O'Neill blitzed Thofoth Fothof off the sideline where the crowd broke his hip, permanently reducing his movement as he failed to regenerate. On the opposite widezone Nimble had been taking on multiple opponents without much success which ended up with him at risk of going off the sideline until the blitz by Ritzblah was halted when he looked his target and couldnít bring himself to touch the oozing exterior. With time running out, Nickelson ran across the field to get near the EZ and some targeted blocks opened a path for Oltrayds to run through and try a pass from right next to the rotter. He was lucky he was that close as the attempted catch went straight off Nickelsonís face and back into Oltrayds hands. Trying to free up some defenders Nurgle players were smashed to the ground with Hoar us crushing O'Neill with his massive bandaged fists, Badly Hurting him AND fracturing his skull. With no rerolls left Oltrayds didnít trust his team mate to take possession and ran towards the EZ himself for the T8 TD.
You Donít Know set up deep to prevent taking too much damage and missed the chance to do anything with the Blitz kickoff result. After the LOS rotters all hit the ground, the newcomer to the team, the Thro-Ra Fah Chukhah, strolled over to the ball, easily picked it up and lobbed it to the nearby Blitz-Ra Nerhfren Needgul who caught it for the first completion of the season for the Khemri.

The second half started the way it was expected to with a cage of ST5 moving forwards and the Thro-Ra with the ball in the middle. Then Fah Chukhah stepped on a Mine, he kept his feet along with his rear defenders but the Tomb Guardians Tooting Car Man and A Noob us went down, removing the front of the cage. Piper smacked Ritzblah to the ground and out of the way, leaving Horner to blitz Fah Chukhah backwards between his rear defenders with the ball bouncing behind Hoar us. Nickelson pushed Atah The Zealous from his spot next to Oltrayds who dodged around the back of the mob, GFIíd onto the ball, grabbed it from the feet of Hoar us, GFIíd and Dodged away for a pass to Black who had moved back to wait in scoring range. Once again a Rotter was unable to catch an accurate pass and the ball was on the ground. Steve Blitzed Oltrayds and stunned him, Hoar us marked up the ball and Fah Chukhah ran in to grab it but the TZ of Black prevented success. Fah Chukhah was then flat on his back after a solid thump from Black but no one else was close enough to try for the ball. Looking at the clock, Fah Chukhah realised he would have to push himself to the limit to get the equalising TD. Trusting in his team mates to keep the Nurgle horde at bay, after Black was pushed away, he got to his feet picked up the ball and darted into the open with two GFIís to get close to the LOS. The Nurgle coach had no faith in his players dodging ability so he tried to free up Thariper by blocking one of his markers so the Beast of Nurgle could blitz the other and put tentacles on the ball carrier. The first block failed with a Both Down against Nerhfren Needgul and Fah Chukhah was off again. Two more GFIs put him in line for a T8 walk in TD and out of range of any blitz leaving Sparrow to stand up and make two GFIís just to mark the Thro-Ra and Nimble failed his dodge to try for two GFIís for the second marker. Rerolls in hand, Fah Chukhah just needed to dodge away to draw the game, he failed and the ball bounced back to the feet of Sparrow. The Great Unclean One smiled down at his representatives. With no chance of recovery for any failure Sprat got to his feet and pushed Nerhfren Needgul away from Oltrayds, Sparrow picked up the ball, ran around the nearby skeleton and made a short pass to Oltrayds. The inaccurate throw spiralled wildly in the air and landed right in the hands of the Pestigor who walked carefully downfield to put the ball delicately in the arms of Black who confidently strode into the EZ to end the game.
The Khemri coach finally pulled out his Magic Sponge and wiped away the broken hip of Thofoth Fothof.

Final Result TD 2-0 Cas 3-3
Three pass attempts by the Nurgle team, two failed catches for accurate passes and a successful catch for the inaccurate pass for 0 completions.
The Thro-Ra chance of success for the final TD was 75% with the reroll, the odds of the Nurgle team T16 TD attempt being successful was 18.5% based on the pass being accurate. The actual sequence of events including the inaccurate pass landing back on the target was 0.98%.
- Carbrawn
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